Movie Review: Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) *So THAT Just Happened…..* MAJOR SPOILER WARNING

Let’s get this out of the way in case you haven’t seen the film: IT. IS. NOT. GOOD.  We’re also going to talk about spoilers after the jump because I don’t respect this film enough to wait any longer to do so.  All on the same page?  Excellent, here’s the nutshell review.  Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is an incoherent series of what should be cool events were they bound together by any narrative whatsoever.

It’s poorly directed, bafflingly edited, disappointingly scored (thanks, Hans Zimmer, for phoning in your HALF of the score, you being so busy polishing the masterpiece that was your work in Kung Fu Panda 3) and marred by a performance so bad that it should end that Oscar-nominated actor’s career (looking at you, Eisenberg).  However, it is NOT Batman & Robin, Elektra or Fantastic Four.  This is not one of the worst movies in the history of cinema.  It only feels like it because buried in all of this is something that should have given fans a film for the ages.  It’s the dichotomy between what should have been and what ended up (sorta) happening that makes this so bad.  Spoiler-free portion over, kiddies, jump out of the boat or continue down the chocolate river!