THE FIRST-EVER TIME KILLER’S AWARD
I am stunned and dumbfounded that this blog that I took up as a very calculated way to avoid a very complicated reality, has turned into an avenue for meeting and interacting with so many cool people and getting to share interests with people all over the globe. That so many of you think that the bits of tid I post here are worth a look, truly humbles me. So I’m giving myself an award!
You’ve seen these things floating all over the blog tubes. I myself have been nominated for two; one of which I had to spend an hour researching to discover that it was-in fact-utter nonsense. So if they’re utter nonsense, then why can’t I nominate some of you for one?
1. Strict adherence to all rules will be considered a sign of weakness and will result in your immediate disqualification/deportation from Earth.
2. No, you do not have to bloody answer all of these. That’s absurd. It’s daft that I wrote this many. You are to pick a PRIME NUMBER of the questions containing no LESS than 13 and no GREATER than the number of questions I actually asked.
3. Do not go through the tiresome process of pasting code or notifying or backslapping the five (OR the number of current house pets owned by the sum total of nephews and nieces you may or may not possess) nominees you select. Just link to their blog. You may also want to tell them you nominated them for something ridiculous.
4. Do we need more than three rules? Ok. When answering the indeterminable number of questions on your Time Killer’s application, be brief; be cool; be seated.
5. A badge? You want a badge? Are we Webelos? Fine, take the stabby clock and paste it as a nomination slab of honor.
AND NOW THE QUESTION GAUNTLET (make a beverage run)
*These questions were pulled from several reputable questionnaires that I exhaustively researched using mining tools….also Google. If you look for a pattern or order, madness will ensue and blood will fountain from your ears. That’s a disclaimer.
1. What was your favorite food as a child?
2. Have you named your pet or child after a literary or mythological figure?
3. How much caffeine is too much caffeine?
4. What is the ideal time to get up?
5. What is your favorite band/singer?
6. Are you disqualified from playing Trivial Pursuit barring legal intoxication?
7. Do you become the default IT person wherever you happen to work?
8. Favorite time of year?
9. What is the best TV show of all-time (drama AND comedy answers allowed)?
10. What will always get a guaranteed cheap laugh out of you?
11. Original Series or Next Generation?
12. I ask not if you read comics but how much of a space hazard are they in your place of residence? If you somehow do not read comics, immediately quit your job and begin.
13. If you could live forever Highlander-style, would you want to? Discuss.
14. Go-to angry song? Don’t be a cliche.
15. What is the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
16. Where does the door to Narnia open in your house? I won’t use it. I have my own.
17. Have you lived through a natural disaster(s)?
18. What are your favorite and least favorite words?
19. Be honest. Have you quoted Jesus or Yoda more in the last month?
20. What is the #1 song played on your iPod?
21. Name three books you read that changed your life (in a jam I will settle for three books period).
22. What movie “classic” do you think is utter rubbish?
23. If you’re only as old as you feel, how old are you (this allows for a lot of creative math and outright lying so don’t feel obliged to give your actual age as God knows I won’t)?
24. Last movie you watched that made you cry (in a manly stoic fashion if applicable)?
25. You’re being deported (hey, not my fault) but any other country will take you. Where are you headed?
26. What is your favorite season of the year?
27. Would you say you’re informed on current events or do you consciously avoid them as they inspire uncontrollable rage issues?
28. Top 5 favorite movies. GO!
29. Have you ever tried to move anything with The Force? After the age of 8.
30. Has your spedometer ever required three digits? Explain.
31. Confidence building time, computer trolls. What do you like about yourself? I’m not going to ask the inverse, because if you’re like me as soon as you give yourself a little praise, you’ll put on the song with which you answered question #14.
32. If you live in the states, how many have you visited? If not, how’s that working out?
33. Do you play video games (this is a trick question, the answer is yes and the real question is to tell me what your favorite one is….it’s late in the gauntlet and I’m trying to help you out…you may want to hydrate or something)?
34. How long have you known your best friend?
35. Batman vs. Superman. Who wins? (The answer to this is very important to your badge attainment)
36. What are your favorite and least favorite sounds?
37. Dogs or cats?
38. Three favorite authors…..hop to it!
39. Are you in any way doing what you thought you’d be doing when you were young enough to think about things that you might some day be doing? Rephrase.
40. Do you want to go back to school? If in school do you want to straight up swap?
41. If dragons exist…I don’t really have a question here, but wouldn’t that be neat?
42. This number has two meanings of significance. What are they?
43. Who is the funniest person you know (I will recuse myself)?
44. Favorite color (it’s a softball, I’m running low here too)?
45. What color is your lightsaber? TRICK: CANNOT be your favorite color!
46. What house would you be sorted into if accepted into Hogwarts?
47. Would you describe yourself as “outdoorsy”? Follow-up: I have some yard work that needs doing and my answer to this question is a big fat NO, so….
48. Jedi, Sith, Wizard, Rock Star, Barbarian Warlord, Pug Farmer: pick one. Justify.
49. Name your autobiography (ex. Shrubbery and Wailing: the Bill Potts Story)
50. What’s your favorite way to kill time?
MY NOMINEES – The First Time Killers